Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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