i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
