Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
