Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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