Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
