do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
