Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Actions speak louder than pants.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
