my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
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woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
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I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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