i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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