Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
