Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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