If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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