so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Actions speak louder than pants.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
