NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
