i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
