And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
