Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize