sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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