He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
