My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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