We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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