i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a blender
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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