do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
