Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
