she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
