Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
