He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
