don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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