I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
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He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
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So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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