We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
