do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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