you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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