Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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