I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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