You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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