Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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