my mouth tastes like poor choices
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.