Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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