shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
