The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?