What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
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Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.