Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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