vagina is talking i cant
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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