he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
