haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
