so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
