It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
