So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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