i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Someone shit on the floor
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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