It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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