What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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