I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
