we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
