I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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