Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The air was thick with penises
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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