Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The Olympian is in my bed
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
