please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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