I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
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She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
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I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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