Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
