think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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