Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
