uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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